I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
