Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
