i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
