She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
