To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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