I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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