Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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