he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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