This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
