coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
