My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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