Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
