grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
