as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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