whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Less talking, more tequila
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize