I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
