wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
