i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
