I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I want to have your abortion
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
