he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
