My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Small penises have feelings too.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
