dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I bet he comes in French.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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