Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so that wasnt chicken after all
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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