i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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