Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
