Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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