Umm I'm too high to move.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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