isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
