I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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