I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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