I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
