if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
