Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
