Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
