I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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