So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
