yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
