And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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