2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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