cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
