I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
