when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
