The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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