I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
