She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
