Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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