he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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