I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
