Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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