Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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